Word of The Day: Mauerbauertraurigkeit

13734314_1745248279081143_1826227868_nI have a confession to make. Recently I haven’t been hanging out with anyone besides Cassy, not even my best friends. I know I’m neglecting them and that I should hangout with them. I know they have a lot going on too that I really should be there for but lately I just don’t want to be around anyone. I’m not depressed, this is different. I don’t understand why or even know how to get rid of this feeling. They’ll text me and I’ll get happy to hear from them but half of me kind of just wants to be left alone. They’ll ask to hang out and I get excited about catching up with them but half of me just wants to be by myself. And frankly, I don’t like feeling like this. Friends used to literally be one of my top priorities and now they aren’t even on the scale. I want to know whats going on in their lives, I want to know how they’re doing and what’s wrong when they’re sad but I just can’t find it in me to do so. I know I’m pushing everyone away and I half of me hates it and the other half wants to continue to do so. I’m fighting with myself on what to do but when I actually get myself to hangout with them I find myself wishing I was alone. I don’t know what to do but I think realizing this is a good place to start.

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