5 Tips To Help Find Yourself as a Teenager

In school we are taught various subjects like math, history, science and all that good stuff. Yet, they don’t teach you how to find yourself. Then out of no where…BOOM! They slam you with really tough questions that you’re expected to know all the answers to.
“So what do you want to do when you’re older?”
“What major are you going to choose?”
“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
“Where do you want to live one day?”
Were asked these questions that many of us don’t really know the answers to. Then after we understand that we don’t know we just say that we’re, “figuring it out still.” Then we just go on with our busy lives and continue on in a direction we think we like and see where it takes us.
I believe we should be doing more than just that. Don’t worry I’m not saying to do anything super crazy, it’s actually really simple. 

We should actively be trying to find  ourselves. The person you are today is completely different than who you were when you were at seven, or thirteen. Just like how you are going to be a different person in five years than who you are now. We are always changing so I think we need to constantly learn who we are.

1. TRY NEW THINGS
I know it sounds very cliche but it’s true. Go and search for new experiences. This will make you not completely step out of your comfort zone but push your comfort zone instead. Trying new things can be scary but after you’ve done it once you can see if you like it and if so it will be easier to do it again. Broaden your horizon.

2. DON’T BE AFRAID OF YOUR LIKES CHANGING
Just because you we’re totally into that mint sea blue bed spread doesn’t mean you have to love it forever. Your style and things you like will change constantly and that’s okay! Switch it up all you want!

3. SPEND TIME ALONE
This is very important. Everyone needs personal space. Just like how you hang out with your best friend and you know them. You need to hang out with yourself so you can know yourself. Being alone is great, no one to entertain and you can do whatever you want free of all judgement.

4. BREAK YOUR PATTERNS
It’s the little things. Order a different drink at Starbucks than your normal go to. Rearrange your room. Go a different way on your jog. Doing the same things over and over can get boring. So for your happiness and sanity, try doing something a little different every day!

5. WORK ON ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE
Make sure you’re growing mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Mentally: Read a book. Watch a documentary. Go to a museum. Just learn new things!
Physically: Go on a hike. Go to the gym. Do yoga. Go swimming. Get moving!
Spiritually: Go to church. Learn about religions. Meditate. Something for the soul!
Emotionally: Do what makes you happy. Minimize the stress in your life. Keep the right company around.  Healthy happy relationships.

 

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Stupid Love

Right now my life is weird.
Cassy and I aren’t together. Yet it feels like were still together. We have come to an agreement that we’re not together, have no title yet were gunna just do and act however we please. All the while Cassy is going to work on herself. I’m so proud of her for putting getting her shit together as a priority cause I’m doing the same. Hopefully she matures and grows a lot in many different ways. If were ever going to be together again I need her to be where I’m at and right now she’s far from it. I say all that but were practically together right now!
Ugh I hate love. I don’t mean that but ugh! Love makes people do things they normally wouldn’t. I’m stupid in love. But Cass isn’t. She’s not in love with me. She broke up with me. BUT she gave me a promise ring. YET told me that she doesn’t expect me to wait for her. Who breaks up with someone then gives them a promise ring. I’m torn. She’s sending me mixed signals in every direction.
Last night Shae and I had a good talk about our relationships. I was telling her that she’s my best friend and that I will always believe that she deserves the best and nothing less. Then I told her that even though I love him as a person, I believe that she can do better than Spike. Shae then went and told me the same and that was a big eye opener.
Basically I don’t know what to do. I love her. I just wish loving her didn’t make me so stupid.

 

 

 

 

Bend and Break

So Cassy and I are now on a break but don’t be mistaken we’re fine and on good terms.We both have different reasons as to why we are doing this. Cassy is finishing up her first semester in college and she’s extremely stressed out right now. I’ve been telling her that she needs to focus more on school because she’s very smart but the problem is that she just does an even better job at procrastinating. Literally this girl will do an assignment the morning before it’s due. With her finals coming up soon she feels a lot more pressure and stress than usual. She was explaining to me that she didn’t want to take a break but just that she wanted more space so she can apply herself more since finals are coming up. At this point I said that I think a break could be good for us. Cassy was very surprised I said this. I began explaining how I haven’t been very happy recently in all aspects of my life and so I had been putting my all into the relationship and I still wasn’t happy. I had been bending over backwards trying to make her happy hoping that it would make me happy but at the end of the day I still felt like unhappy. I told her that I feel like I need this break to focus on myself and see if I’m happier not being in a relationship. Also, someone from my past has popped back into my life and has been making me really revaluate my life and making me think what I really want. So I’ve been struggling with that and everything else on top of it. Cassy and I agreed that after her finals are over we would talk and see if she was happier without me and vise versa. Yet the strange thing is that our relationship is fine necessarily, the problem is with us as separate individuals. We cleared up all of the guide lines of our break then went on enjoying our day together in slo. It was filled with laughs and affection. Once we got to my house where she was dropping me off I start to cry a little just because I knew I was going to miss her so much. We agreed to at least say good morning and goodnight to each other but it’s hard not talking to her. What can I say she’s my best friend. I’m terrified of losing her because I don’t want to lose the friendship. After you’ve been so close with a person being without them feels strange. It’s like you have to teach yourself how to live without them. I’m just trying to put my life into perspective and see what I should do and what is best for me.

Forever Friends

Growing up my mother always would tell me that once I graduated I would realize who my true friends are. When I was little I thought she was wrong. I believed that the “bff’s” I had were going to be forever like the name entitles. My mother watched as friends would come and go continuing to say the same thing. Now that I have actually graduated I have realized that she was right. You learn that many people are just your friends because you saw them five times a week. Another thing my mother would inform me on is that she still had lasting friendship with people she had known for years and years. At the time I thought that was unbelieveable to hear about friendships that were 10+ years. They remained friends despite time, distance, disagreements and everyday busy lives. At that time in my life since I was so young that idea truly baffled me. Then time started passing by so quickly and I realized that some of my friendships were starting to pack on the years. I have now reached the point to where I can say that I have been friends with people for 10 years.
However, my mother never told me about the friendships where the years don’t matter. The ones that you make later on in life. The ones that really matter. I became close friends with a couple people my senior year of high school and yet they have surpassed all other friends I’ve ever had. I believe there are many reasons why these friendships were made and why they will last. First of all, I didn’t make these friends when I was a child, there is no need for a bracelet to solidify it. I made these friends when I became a young adult, when I realized who I was as an individual. I knew who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. When you do so people will gravitate toward you, people who are like you and on the same path as you. These are friends where you don’t have to talk to everyday to keep the friendship alive.  I didn’t makes these friends because we had class together for years so we grew up together out of convince. These friends are ones I never had a class with.
I have also learned that any friendship is attainable to keep through effort. Yes life can get busy but you will always make time for the people you care about. Get a quick bite to eat with your “bestie” once a month, plan for it. It’s just a matter of priorities. Also, I understand that maybe you guys don’t live close but now a days we have social media. It’s easy too keep in touch, theres so much you can do! FaceTime, text, Skype, call, DM or put each others notifications on. That way when they’re tweeting in their feels you can text them and see if they’re alright. Then there’s disagreements, which is a hard one. On some occasions you guys won’t talk for a while and sometimes that can be good. It can give both people space and time to revaluate. I guess it just boils down to whether the argument is worth losing the friendship or not. You don’t always have to agree. You’re two different people, not the same person. If you can’t find some kind of common ground, at least agree to disagree. Overall, the friendships that were meant to be will be. Life has a funny way of bringing people in and out of our lives. Just make sure that if you want to keep a friend show them you care about them. Who knows, maybe they’ll be your forever friend.