5 Tips To Help Find Yourself as a Teenager

In school we are taught various subjects like math, history, science and all that good stuff. Yet, they don’t teach you how to find yourself. Then out of no where…BOOM! They slam you with really tough questions that you’re expected to know all the answers to.
“So what do you want to do when you’re older?”
“What major are you going to choose?”
“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
“Where do you want to live one day?”
Were asked these questions that many of us don’t really know the answers to. Then after we understand that we don’t know we just say that we’re, “figuring it out still.” Then we just go on with our busy lives and continue on in a direction we think we like and see where it takes us.
I believe we should be doing more than just that. Don’t worry I’m not saying to do anything super crazy, it’s actually really simple. 

We should actively be trying to find  ourselves. The person you are today is completely different than who you were when you were at seven, or thirteen. Just like how you are going to be a different person in five years than who you are now. We are always changing so I think we need to constantly learn who we are.

I know it sounds very cliche but it’s true. Go and search for new experiences. This will make you not completely step out of your comfort zone but push your comfort zone instead. Trying new things can be scary but after you’ve done it once you can see if you like it and if so it will be easier to do it again. Broaden your horizon.

Just because you we’re totally into that mint sea blue bed spread doesn’t mean you have to love it forever. Your style and things you like will change constantly and that’s okay! Switch it up all you want!

This is very important. Everyone needs personal space. Just like how you hang out with your best friend and you know them. You need to hang out with yourself so you can know yourself. Being alone is great, no one to entertain and you can do whatever you want free of all judgement.

It’s the little things. Order a different drink at Starbucks than your normal go to. Rearrange your room. Go a different way on your jog. Doing the same things over and over can get boring. So for your happiness and sanity, try doing something a little different every day!

Make sure you’re growing mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Mentally: Read a book. Watch a documentary. Go to a museum. Just learn new things!
Physically: Go on a hike. Go to the gym. Do yoga. Go swimming. Get moving!
Spiritually: Go to church. Learn about religions. Meditate. Something for the soul!
Emotionally: Do what makes you happy. Minimize the stress in your life. Keep the right company around.  Healthy happy relationships.



Open Eyes

Closed Eyes
Today was one of those days where you wake up and debate with yourself on whether or not you should even get out of bed or just say, “screw it” and stay. Once I worked through my battle with my conscience, I got up. I started getting ready for the day because I had plans to go to church with my older sister Kayla. We made sure to get to church early so we had time to get coffee before. Once I really got to talking with my sister I realized how much I had missed her. While we were talking her boyfriend Chase found us and joined in on the conversation. Then we realized what time it was and hurried to find a seat. The moment the preacher started his sermon I instantly realized that I was so glad that I came instead of staying in bed. I felt that I needed to be there. One of the things that the pastor talked about was God opening our eyes, enlightening us, so we may see His work. This hit home for me. In that moment I realized that I needed to do exactly that.
Open Eyes
I needed to realize that God is working in my life and I wasn’t noticing it. I wanted that job so very badly that I was blind to the fact that maybe God didn’t. All of my life I had been told that God answers prayers. They just may not be the answer we want. It might be a yes, it might be a no and even sometimes the answer is not right now. Maybe that job wasn’t the right place for me, maybe He needs to place me somewhere else. So today I applied at a few other places and I’m just hoping that maybe one of those places is where God wants me to be. Yes, I have plans as to what I want my life to be like but I need to trust that God’s plan is better.

A Hard Decision to Be Made

Currently I am faced with a dilemma. Every Thanksgiving weekend my Dad’s side of the family all go to Tehachapi and I don’t know if I want to go this year. I know it sounds all nice and what not but there’s more to it. First of all, since we go every year this means that we leave my mom alone every Thanksgiving. I feel terrible about that. But when we go the whole family stays at the house and there’s A LOT of us. With that being said, I have no privacy when I’m there because they’re is multiple people sharing every room. Even when you shower you have to hurry because one of the kids always has to use the restroom.
Also this side of the family is very religious! My grandparents are missionaries for peete’s sake! Everyone asks me the same questions every year and since theres so many people there I have the same conversation twenty times. This always brings the infamous question. “So Shanelle, do you have a boyfriend?” I wish I could tell them that I have a girlfriend because she’s amazing. This is the best relationship I’ve ever been in. Yet if I ever told them that I have a girlfriend they’d flip. Especially my Grandpa, I think he’d have a heart attack on the spot.
Not to mention that this year my dad is bringing his girlfriend Holly and her three kids this year. Don’t get me wrong they’re cool. I love finally seeing my dad happy. It’s just that he lives with them and they’re his world now. I rarely get a text or a call from him, mostly I get them just on holidays. Yet I’m expected to go to Tehachapi with them and pretend that were one big happy family when in reality that isn’t the case. If I end up going I know that my family is going to ask how I feel about Holly and her girls. In which I wouldn’t sugar coat a thing. I’m tired of masking how I feel and putting on an act like my parents taught me to do so when I was young. I’m an adult now. I’m entitled to my own opinions and beliefs.
Every year I usually had someone that I could escape from everything with. Growing up it was my older sister Kayla, but now she has a boyfriend so she will be with him. So last year I brought my best friend Julia. Whenever I felt overwhelmed or needed a break from it all I could slip away with them and have a little adventure of our own. Except this year I won’t be able to do so because my dad is bringing Holly and her girls.
It just boils down to the fact that I don’t feel comfortable there. Yet I feel that I need to go because they’re my family. What if I don’t go this year and next year one of my family members isn’t around anymore? I’d feel absolutely horrible. It’s just hard because I don’t enjoy my time there at all. I’m torn between putting myself first spending the holiday with my Mom or just sticking it out to make everyone else happy. All I know is that I have a hard decision to make and time is ticking.