5 Tips To Help Find Yourself as a Teenager

In school we are taught various subjects like math, history, science and all that good stuff. Yet, they don’t teach you how to find yourself. Then out of no where…BOOM! They slam you with really tough questions that you’re expected to know all the answers to.
“So what do you want to do when you’re older?”
“What major are you going to choose?”
“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
“Where do you want to live one day?”
Were asked these questions that many of us don’t really know the answers to. Then after we understand that we don’t know we just say that we’re, “figuring it out still.” Then we just go on with our busy lives and continue on in a direction we think we like and see where it takes us.
I believe we should be doing more than just that. Don’t worry I’m not saying to do anything super crazy, it’s actually really simple. 

We should actively be trying to find  ourselves. The person you are today is completely different than who you were when you were at seven, or thirteen. Just like how you are going to be a different person in five years than who you are now. We are always changing so I think we need to constantly learn who we are.

1. TRY NEW THINGS
I know it sounds very cliche but it’s true. Go and search for new experiences. This will make you not completely step out of your comfort zone but push your comfort zone instead. Trying new things can be scary but after you’ve done it once you can see if you like it and if so it will be easier to do it again. Broaden your horizon.

2. DON’T BE AFRAID OF YOUR LIKES CHANGING
Just because you we’re totally into that mint sea blue bed spread doesn’t mean you have to love it forever. Your style and things you like will change constantly and that’s okay! Switch it up all you want!

3. SPEND TIME ALONE
This is very important. Everyone needs personal space. Just like how you hang out with your best friend and you know them. You need to hang out with yourself so you can know yourself. Being alone is great, no one to entertain and you can do whatever you want free of all judgement.

4. BREAK YOUR PATTERNS
It’s the little things. Order a different drink at Starbucks than your normal go to. Rearrange your room. Go a different way on your jog. Doing the same things over and over can get boring. So for your happiness and sanity, try doing something a little different every day!

5. WORK ON ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE
Make sure you’re growing mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Mentally: Read a book. Watch a documentary. Go to a museum. Just learn new things!
Physically: Go on a hike. Go to the gym. Do yoga. Go swimming. Get moving!
Spiritually: Go to church. Learn about religions. Meditate. Something for the soul!
Emotionally: Do what makes you happy. Minimize the stress in your life. Keep the right company around.  Healthy happy relationships.

 

Advertisements

Que Lifestyle Change

So it’s 7:30 in the morning and I haven’t slept a lot because I woke up at two and again around four. Cassy left around five and I haven’t slept since. Anyways, I was just up pondering things like I usually do when I can’t sleep and I was thinking about something that has been on my mind a lot recently, my mental health. I’ve been talking about bettering myself for so long but I have never done anything to work on my mental health. Naturally, I would like to change that.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS FOLKS!….ANOTHER LIFESTYLE CHANGE FOR SHANELLE!

I honestly feel like a lifestyle change isn’t final until you’ve rearranged. Plus, just the red in my room is driving me crazy! So I’m gunna switch it up and maybe go more boho. As soon as I’m done with this post I’m gunna start by moving things around again and try to make room for a little meditation area in my room. You don’t have to start all crazy and go full Buda but y’all know that I tend to do things to the extreme so we will see. I am gunna start with a few minutes a day and work my way up. Having time to be alone will be good for me. Also I want it to be a place where I can read because I think reading is great for the mind.  It makes you learn and think things you never would have thought of or takes you places!

Also I’ve really been wanting to start working out and taking yoga classes. Shae is my little roll dog and she’s down for whatever so I know she will go with me. That way we can attempt to do that shit together! I just need some yoga outfits and room decor and oh no! I’m actually gunna stop there before I spend my check before I get it!

The Repetition of My Realization

Cassy has been using me.

Not in any malicious way. It wasn’t done on purpose to hurt me but it’s been happening. I need to remember that she broke up with me. She broke up with me to work on herself and I should let her do so. We can’t continue to act as though we’re still together. That’s not fair to me. I understand why we have been like this though. We do love each other very much, she’s my best friend and we’ve been in each other’s lives nonstop for almost a year now. It’s hard to just cut someone off who’s been such a big part of your life for so long.
I feel like she is stringing me along because she’s afraid of losing me. I know that she loves me too much to much to fully let me go. But I love Cassy enough to let her go. Our love for each other is different right now. I feel like she is selfishly loving me and I am selflessly loving her. I need to love myself and have enough respect for myself to not let this continue any longer. I need to not let myself continue to give someone my all when they are not wiling to give the same in return. I need to stop forgiving her for things I know I shouldn’t and I need to stop using my love for her to justifying my undeserving forgiveness. Don’t get me wrong. I’m no saint. I know I’ve done wrong by her as well. I know I’m hard to deal with but I know I don’t deserve this.
I understand that Cassy needs to work on herself. I understand that she feels that she needs to be single in order to do so. I understand that this is what she needs to do at this point in her life. But at this point in my life I’ve already done my growing as an individual. I’ve already done that maturing. I wanna get myself on track on where I wanna be in life…with the person I wanna be with in life. I don’t have time for games. I don’t have time to have my emotions played with like a toy.
I know that realizing this is a big step but I also know that I have no self control with her. I know that actions speak louder than words. Yet I also know that words are powerful and repetition helps you learn things quicker so maybe if I keep telling myself all of this it will stick in my brain. Then it will become mind over matter and I can get over her instead of under her time and time again. Now that is repetition.img_0734

Open Eyes

Closed Eyes
Today was one of those days where you wake up and debate with yourself on whether or not you should even get out of bed or just say, “screw it” and stay. Once I worked through my battle with my conscience, I got up. I started getting ready for the day because I had plans to go to church with my older sister Kayla. We made sure to get to church early so we had time to get coffee before. Once I really got to talking with my sister I realized how much I had missed her. While we were talking her boyfriend Chase found us and joined in on the conversation. Then we realized what time it was and hurried to find a seat. The moment the preacher started his sermon I instantly realized that I was so glad that I came instead of staying in bed. I felt that I needed to be there. One of the things that the pastor talked about was God opening our eyes, enlightening us, so we may see His work. This hit home for me. In that moment I realized that I needed to do exactly that.
Open Eyes
I needed to realize that God is working in my life and I wasn’t noticing it. I wanted that job so very badly that I was blind to the fact that maybe God didn’t. All of my life I had been told that God answers prayers. They just may not be the answer we want. It might be a yes, it might be a no and even sometimes the answer is not right now. Maybe that job wasn’t the right place for me, maybe He needs to place me somewhere else. So today I applied at a few other places and I’m just hoping that maybe one of those places is where God wants me to be. Yes, I have plans as to what I want my life to be like but I need to trust that God’s plan is better.

Word of the Day: Logophile

lovewordsI have a slight confession. As geeky as this will sound, I have always been infatuated with strange, unique and beautiful words. So I have decided that when I don’t have any fun stories to blog about I will instead chose a word and write a little something about it. Today I chose logophile for the obvious reason that I have found that I am one. I feel that now a days we tend to all use the same vocabulary. Which is a shame because there are so many lovely words that go unused. There is approximately 1,025,109.8 words in the english language according to the global language monitor. (I’m not going to lie the .8 still confuses me) Growing up, I always got compliments on how I have a very nice vocabulary. I have my love of reading and words to thank for that. I believe others should do the same because I hate when trying to explain myself or how I feel and not being able to find the correct words that correspond. For example, that is called Alexithymia (n) difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses in a verbal manner. You see knowledge is something you can always be gained and can never be taken away from you. So I encourage you to take a small step and start with one word at a time.