5 Tips To Help Find Yourself as a Teenager

In school we are taught various subjects like math, history, science and all that good stuff. Yet, they don’t teach you how to find yourself. Then out of no where…BOOM! They slam you with really tough questions that you’re expected to know all the answers to.
“So what do you want to do when you’re older?”
“What major are you going to choose?”
“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
“Where do you want to live one day?”
Were asked these questions that many of us don’t really know the answers to. Then after we understand that we don’t know we just say that we’re, “figuring it out still.” Then we just go on with our busy lives and continue on in a direction we think we like and see where it takes us.
I believe we should be doing more than just that. Don’t worry I’m not saying to do anything super crazy, it’s actually really simple. 

We should actively be trying to find  ourselves. The person you are today is completely different than who you were when you were at seven, or thirteen. Just like how you are going to be a different person in five years than who you are now. We are always changing so I think we need to constantly learn who we are.

1. TRY NEW THINGS
I know it sounds very cliche but it’s true. Go and search for new experiences. This will make you not completely step out of your comfort zone but push your comfort zone instead. Trying new things can be scary but after you’ve done it once you can see if you like it and if so it will be easier to do it again. Broaden your horizon.

2. DON’T BE AFRAID OF YOUR LIKES CHANGING
Just because you we’re totally into that mint sea blue bed spread doesn’t mean you have to love it forever. Your style and things you like will change constantly and that’s okay! Switch it up all you want!

3. SPEND TIME ALONE
This is very important. Everyone needs personal space. Just like how you hang out with your best friend and you know them. You need to hang out with yourself so you can know yourself. Being alone is great, no one to entertain and you can do whatever you want free of all judgement.

4. BREAK YOUR PATTERNS
It’s the little things. Order a different drink at Starbucks than your normal go to. Rearrange your room. Go a different way on your jog. Doing the same things over and over can get boring. So for your happiness and sanity, try doing something a little different every day!

5. WORK ON ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE
Make sure you’re growing mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Mentally: Read a book. Watch a documentary. Go to a museum. Just learn new things!
Physically: Go on a hike. Go to the gym. Do yoga. Go swimming. Get moving!
Spiritually: Go to church. Learn about religions. Meditate. Something for the soul!
Emotionally: Do what makes you happy. Minimize the stress in your life. Keep the right company around.  Healthy happy relationships.

 

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Que Lifestyle Change

So it’s 7:30 in the morning and I haven’t slept a lot because I woke up at two and again around four. Cassy left around five and I haven’t slept since. Anyways, I was just up pondering things like I usually do when I can’t sleep and I was thinking about something that has been on my mind a lot recently, my mental health. I’ve been talking about bettering myself for so long but I have never done anything to work on my mental health. Naturally, I would like to change that.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS FOLKS!….ANOTHER LIFESTYLE CHANGE FOR SHANELLE!

I honestly feel like a lifestyle change isn’t final until you’ve rearranged. Plus, just the red in my room is driving me crazy! So I’m gunna switch it up and maybe go more boho. As soon as I’m done with this post I’m gunna start by moving things around again and try to make room for a little meditation area in my room. You don’t have to start all crazy and go full Buda but y’all know that I tend to do things to the extreme so we will see. I am gunna start with a few minutes a day and work my way up. Having time to be alone will be good for me. Also I want it to be a place where I can read because I think reading is great for the mind.  It makes you learn and think things you never would have thought of or takes you places!

Also I’ve really been wanting to start working out and taking yoga classes. Shae is my little roll dog and she’s down for whatever so I know she will go with me. That way we can attempt to do that shit together! I just need some yoga outfits and room decor and oh no! I’m actually gunna stop there before I spend my check before I get it!

Just a Lil Update

I know that recently the only thing I have blogged about is Cassy and our relationship with each other. That’s because blogging is almost therapeutic for me. So I wanted to do a quick update on my job. I am one out of the four newer girls at Davids Bridal. Keelee is the girl that I was hired with. She had worked at a David’s Bridal previously so she knows what she is doing. Then there’s Vanessa who got hired after us and I know her because we went to school together in junior high. Then there is now this newer girl, I wanna say her name is Tiffany or somewhat but I really don’t know or care. All I know is that she had been boasting on social media about how she’s gunna get paid so much money through commission working here. Little does she know that the job just isn’t gunna throw a bunch of money at you. Your place has to be earned.

As of right now I am the only one from the newer girls to get moved from being a dress specialist to a stylist. Basically that means I work with brides now. I have worked with a few but so far I have only sold one. I am still very new at it and I am still trying to learn the ropes. I will get better though!

I have added my experience of working at David’s on my resume but I still have a few things to do on it. Yet I haven’t actually applied anywhere yet because I’m hoping that I can stay at David’s Bridal for a while. I want to gain sales skills and experience for a while. I’m just hoping they’re going to keep me. So far out of all the new girls I guess you could say that I have gotten the farthest and I hope that helps in the long run.

Stupid Love

Right now my life is weird.
Cassy and I aren’t together. Yet it feels like were still together. We have come to an agreement that we’re not together, have no title yet were gunna just do and act however we please. All the while Cassy is going to work on herself. I’m so proud of her for putting getting her shit together as a priority cause I’m doing the same. Hopefully she matures and grows a lot in many different ways. If were ever going to be together again I need her to be where I’m at and right now she’s far from it. I say all that but were practically together right now!
Ugh I hate love. I don’t mean that but ugh! Love makes people do things they normally wouldn’t. I’m stupid in love. But Cass isn’t. She’s not in love with me. She broke up with me. BUT she gave me a promise ring. YET told me that she doesn’t expect me to wait for her. Who breaks up with someone then gives them a promise ring. I’m torn. She’s sending me mixed signals in every direction.
Last night Shae and I had a good talk about our relationships. I was telling her that she’s my best friend and that I will always believe that she deserves the best and nothing less. Then I told her that even though I love him as a person, I believe that she can do better than Spike. Shae then went and told me the same and that was a big eye opener.
Basically I don’t know what to do. I love her. I just wish loving her didn’t make me so stupid.

 

 

 

 

His Better Plan

I have some news. I finally got a job and it’s a much better job than the one I didn’t get. I applied at David’s Bridal, called to follow up and two interviews later I was offered the stylist position. Which has to be the work of God because I didn’t even know that was an option! Like my dream job is to be a personal stylist! And I just got offered to be a stylist without even knowing that was a job there. God works in mysterious ways but wow! This is such a blessing! Since I am just starting out I will start with special occasions and work my way to bridesmaids and the goal is to sell $170 an hour and then by doing so I could make my way up to brides. The job is seasonal, from December to April but if they like me they could keep me on. I hope they will because I would like to have this job long term. I have to do extremely well. Not doing well is not an option. I need to be the best. I’m glad this job is goal oriented because I do well in situations where you can work towards something more. I was blessed with this opportunity for a reason, I plan on not wasting it.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Turn of Events

Last night was very eventful to say the least. I was at home cleaning and sprucing up my room killing time while Cassy was at work.  The plan was that she was going to come over probably watch a movie and spend the night. Then at nine Cassy texts me and tells me to get ready because were going to pong at her best friends house. We get there and its full of all our friends from high school. Naturally, I start drinking. So we were playing pong, four corners and just having a good time. However, I was making sure to give her space to be with her friends. Sometimes when we are out Cassy and I have a record of saying little remarks to one another that are either unsympathetic or spiteful. Yet we both never intend to hurt the other persons feelings. I can’t quite remember what was said or why my feelings were hurt but I texted Jordyn, a friend of mine, to see what she was doing. She so happened to be in town and down the street at my gay families house. She told me that one of my friends was there throwing up. Since I’m really good at dealing with that stuff and for some reason I didn’t want to be there with cassy, I had Jordyn come pick me up. So I get there and I walk in and see my ex there. I should have put two and two together. Jordyn and her are best friends, of coarse she’d be there. I didn’t even look over at her long enough to see if her new yet old girl was with her. I quickly went down stairs to deal with my friend. Next thing I know, Cassy is wanting to leave and then is apparently there at the house too. So I walk out to find my girlfriend in a room downstairs with Kelly and other people but Joseph wouldn’t let me in. I was yelling, shoving and pushing trying to get around him to get in the room but the guy is way bigger than me so I gave up. At this point I’m frustrated and in tears because Cassy is mad at me and I hadn’t done anything wrong, and I was just trying to find her so we could talk. So defeated little me runs out to Cassy’s car because I know that she will eventually come out because her car is still on and her friend is waiting in the passenger seat. Soon after Cassy comes out and gets in the car. She asked me to not say anything so I was quiet until we dropped off her friend. Once it was just us two we started arguing about everything. I listened to her side and she listened to mine. Cassy and I have many faults but one thing we are exceptional at is communicating when there is a problem. We put ourselves in the other’s shoes to see the issue from their perspective and fix the problem at hand. We made up, went inside and finally had our sleepover. Despite all the crazy up and down turn of events Cassy and I ended up exactly how we were supposed to, with each other.

ALMOST A YEAR

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Well it’s been a while. Wow so much to catch up on. Anyways, I woke up this morning made some tea, took some vitamins and looked out the window a few times. The weather is all over cast because there was thunder and lightning storms all night, I loved it! I wish it were like this much more! But idk maybe it’s the weather, my inner white mom instincts, my need to keep myself busy or the fact that my girlfriend isn’t awake yet but I decided to try blogging again. Which is crazy cause a week ago I doubt I would but now in this moment I just want to post about everything. Maybe I will, who knows…probably, maybe. (my girlfriend just woke up)
So much can change in a year,  I feel like life is going by so quickly and I’m just trying to keep up! I have mixed feelings when it comes to reflecting on what has happened this year. When you do, you want to see the growth you’ve made and see the changes in your life. I am both proud of my progress yet I am also very disappointed because I want to be doing much better than I am now. I crave independence. I crave the point in my life where I’m in my twenties with a cute little job that I love, living in a city of my choosing. In a little apartment that I decorated. A place where I can wake up, make myself some coffee, sit down and know that I’m self-sufficient. That I don’t need anyone. That I’m doing just fine on my own. I guess I just want complete control over my life.
Here I am, knowing exactly what I want but having a very hard time achieving it. So I, Shanelle Dominique McCallie, am declaring that I am devoting this year to getting myself closer to that dream. One step at a time!